mods under protest

Go Back   mods under protest > General

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-11-2008, 09:12 AM   #1
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
one night stand rip-off

So I met this pretty hot girl at the bar. Outside of physical appearance, she doesn't seem to have many good traits, but we have A LOT in common (we both have two middle names!!! and they're both hyphenated!!!). After winning her over with some witty banter (me alternating between drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and pretending to text people on my phone while she talks the whole time), the bar closes and I totally get THE INVITE to her place, which is on Garnett, which is pretty fucking far away (30 min), especiallly when I'm completely smashed. I go anyways, because everyone knows that THE INVITE is an unspoken contract for fornication.

Her friend's there, so I have to endure about 45 minutes of talk about being in a sorrority, shitty local hippy music, how expensive this wine is, and her cat sprinkles. I should've bailed at that point, but she made delicious macaroni and cheese for me, and her apartment is pretty posh (obviously payed for by dad, because she waits tables), so I'm pretty comfortable.

Her friend leaves, so I'm mentally stretching and preparing for the task at hand. She says, "you're sleeping over right?" I say I am. She says, "Ok, you can sleep on the couch". I sort of laugh at this, because she's joking, right?

Wrong. She brings out blankets. I'm too tired to fight about it, so I go to bed and leave the next morning without saying bye.

What a bitch. Zero stars.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 09:16 AM   #2
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard View Post
You should have been like Ben Affleck in Gigli.
I see what you did there.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 09:55 AM   #3
asxyouxwish
be havin' the billy ripken face
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the greatest city in america
Posts: 16,104
i think the only right thing to do is give her number to chunk and/or BNO for prank calling purposes, assuming you got it.
__________________
a graffitti war of light vs. darkness
asxyouxwish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 11:12 AM   #4
chunk
SRSLY
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Carpinteria, CA
Posts: 2,131
Quote:
Originally Posted by asxyouxwish View Post
i think the only right thing to do is give her number to chunk and/or BNO for prank calling purposes, assuming you got it.
Absolutely.
__________________
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock, cock.

Quote:
Originally Posted by simulacrum View Post
Chunk's seal of approval is like those bad stickers on Victory Records releases.
chunk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 11:36 AM   #5
Dude Beer
grits expert
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: wikipedia
Posts: 6,188
Step your game up.
__________________
"Weekend at Bernie Mac's"

Dude Beer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:24 PM   #6
asxyouxwish
be havin' the billy ripken face
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the greatest city in america
Posts: 16,104
dorks posting about girls
__________________
a graffitti war of light vs. darkness
asxyouxwish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:26 PM   #7
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by asxyouxwish View Post
dorks posting about girls
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:27 PM   #8
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by HaveFunDying View Post
So I met this pretty hot girl at the bar. Outside of physical appearance, she doesn't seem to have many good traits, but we have A LOT in common (we both have two middle names!!! and they're both hyphenated!!!). After winning her over with some witty banter (me alternating between drinking beer, smoking cigarettes, and pretending to text people on my phone while she talks the whole time), the bar closes and I totally get THE INVITE to her place, which is on Garnett, which is pretty fucking far away (30 min), especiallly when I'm completely smashed. I go anyways, because everyone knows that THE INVITE is an unspoken contract for fornication.

Her friend's there, so I have to endure about 45 minutes of talk about being in a sorrority, shitty local hippy music, how expensive this wine is, and her cat sprinkles. I should've bailed at that point, but she made delicious macaroni and cheese for me, and her apartment is pretty posh (obviously payed for by dad, because she waits tables), so I'm pretty comfortable.

Her friend leaves, so I'm mentally stretching and preparing for the task at hand. She says, "you're sleeping over right?" I say I am. She says, "Ok, you can sleep on the couch". I sort of laugh at this, because she's joking, right?

Wrong. She brings out blankets. I'm too tired to fight about it, so I go to bed and leave the next morning without saying bye.

What a bitch. Zero stars.
Get the cat to post.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:29 PM   #9
asxyouxwish
be havin' the billy ripken face
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the greatest city in america
Posts: 16,104
details about the mac&chz plz.
__________________
a graffitti war of light vs. darkness
asxyouxwish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:31 PM   #10
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by asxyouxwish View Post
details about the mac&chz plz.
she used white cheddar. pretty fab.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 05:33 PM   #11
asxyouxwish
be havin' the billy ripken face
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: the greatest city in america
Posts: 16,104
this girl is posting on another message board about the local rock star who totally couldn't deliver.
__________________
a graffitti war of light vs. darkness
asxyouxwish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:10 PM   #12
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by asxyouxwish View Post
this girl is posting on another message board about the local rock star who totally couldn't deliver.
"get the fag to post."
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:13 PM   #13
Dude Beer
grits expert
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: wikipedia
Posts: 6,188
Her "friend" pretty much blew your spot up. She probably felt "caught" by coming home drunk with a stranger. I've even felt that way.

Either that or she used your dopey ass for a free ride home.
__________________
"Weekend at Bernie Mac's"

Dude Beer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:22 PM   #14
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian View Post
Either that or she used your dopey ass for a free ride home.
nah, she drove too.

but her friend was already gone at that point, so i don't know about the other theory either, unless maybe she sobered up during the girl talk? I dunno.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:23 PM   #15
Dude Beer
grits expert
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: wikipedia
Posts: 6,188
In that case I'm almost positive it was her friend. She knew the next day that broad would be asking a ton of questions. I still blame most of this on you, but that friend was a major speedbump.
__________________
"Weekend at Bernie Mac's"

Dude Beer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:28 PM   #16
Jake
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 27
that is pretty fucking absurd. i hope you farted ALL OVER her couch that night.
Jake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 06:35 PM   #17
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian View Post
I still blame most of this on you, but that friend was a major speedbump.
i definitely could have upped the wit/charm or raised some sort of protest about the couch, but i feel like for the most part i did what i could with what i had to work with.

i totally should have bought my acoustic guitar and played goo goo dolls songs or something.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 07:05 PM   #18
ConzoTheLegacy
stop whining
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Northwest Suburbs of Chicago, IL
Posts: 6,795
this is something out of a Ben Stiller movie.
__________________
sol solis. - read me frequently!
last.fm - I show you what Conzo listens to!

"did you think you could grow beyond me?" the clouds exclaimed.
ConzoTheLegacy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 07:43 PM   #19
dpg
1 out of 4 females.
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,660
the tags at the end of these threads are so good it's almost like another witty post.

i think the writing was on the wall when you started talking about middle names. how did you get home in the morning?
dpg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2008, 08:48 PM   #20
HaveFunDying
rolls deep in a black mercedes
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 4,971
Quote:
Originally Posted by dpg View Post
i think the writing was on the wall when you started talking about middle names. how did you get home in the morning?

Trust me, I didn't initiate the middle name portion of the conversation. I drove.
HaveFunDying is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
boobz, cock blocked, does not deliver, first world problems, getting owned by a girl, italian food

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are Off
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.